So one day John was born. Almost immediately he started looking around and learning. Most of it, at first, consisted of tactile, chemical and optical stimuli which did not make a heck of a lot of sense. Language gradually came into the picture and he began to be "told" things; things about how to behave and how to feel about what he was experiencing. Actually it was fairly easy and when alone he could do his own thing without guilt...after all THEY were in charge. Such is early childhood for most of us. For him, a Victorian/Edwardian patriarch, in the form of his Grandfather certainly helped to shape this recalled mould.
He was introduced definitively to the ethics of his place in the world and to the accepted religion going locally. This often remains the lot of many people on this planet and many die happy with it.
For some of us, things unfold differently. He was born with a potential IQ of somewhat over 100 and fell, almost accidentally, into a rich opportunity for prolonged education.
He was to begin, as a result, to think for himself. He had been told by his psychologist friends that since his mother got toxemia during pregnancy and the fact that the cord was wrapped around his neck during childbirth, he could have been brain damaged. There is evidence that such brain damage can lead to "right brain dominance". Wow, perhaps this is why he was pretty creative and constantly thought excessively. Is this a good thing or not? Evidently "left brain dominant" people can lack creativity and tend to think logically or linearly. Many might say this is boring
Well here starts the reason why I am writing this...at least I think I know why! Like I said, John started off with Religion (note the capitalization here). He went to church; was a member of the choir and he prayed regularly. He would go home with a warm self-satisfied glow of righteousness and declared to himself that he was happy. However education and his incessant thinking started to take its toll. He began listening to others, discussing stuff and reading the News.
Over the years he started questioning everything, forming bizarre philosophies. Soon the crutch of "Religion" became less and less significant. Yes, there were other Religions and countless cults and codes of behavior to choose from. But alas the former "glow of happiness" had lost its luster. The big "R" became a little "r" and soon all possible other choices became unattractive.
Most kids go through this kind of thing. Some get totally lost but some "find themselves" again.
Well, I guess with this dilemma, after most of a lifetime, one could get to a fairly lonely place.
John is no longer in one of those "cozy, warm-fuzzy groups". World events have taught him about intolerance, conflict and terrible suffering...all of these often in the name of the big "R". It is said that cynicism is really an acute awareness of reality...well I guess you could say he has become a tad cynical.
It would be unfair to say that he has not had a "good" life. He loves music and the arts generally. His love of nature has always been there and his chosen subject of biology has given him immense pleasure over the years. He has had the privilege to have been a teacher of science for over thirty years and counts that as a success. He has a wonderful wife, son and grandchild, living in a breath-taking part of BC, Canada and does not have many financial problems. So you might say, "What is he griping about?"
Well, I guess he just thinks too much! I think we should avoid doing that.
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